A recently released picture of what appears to be a rather ordinary head has been identified as proof positive UFO nuts will believe anything. Claiming this ratty black and white photo of an equally ratty old car from the 1930's proves beyond a shadow of a doubt the Mayans made contact with an alien race and despite their universe spanning technological sophistication they wanted the Mayans to drop everything and carve a giant useless head.
When reached for comment, Stephen Hawking, was quick to point out the vine should have covered the statue a thousand years ago in any respectable jungle and any further comment would only make him stupider for uttering it and waste the battery power on his wheelchair.
Meanwhile the filmmaker/producer, Producer Raul Julia-Levy, has yet to shoot a square inch of film, entitled, The Mayans Predicted the End of the World in 2012 But Never Saw the Conquistadors that Flattened Them Like a Mack Truck.
For those of you who don't remember Central American history, essentially the Spanish came, looted all the gold and jewels and slaughtered every single culture they encountered by enslaving them to work the plantations and mines. No matter what you saw in that Mel Gibson movie, Apocalypto, (that didn't have one single car chase or explosion, read=crappy movie, nor did it have any snappy Latin music), the natives stood as much chance as the Ethiopians did going up against tanks and guns in WW2, but in fairness to the Central American natives they never encountered a race of people who pronounced the name Julio like Who-Leo before and that can be very off-putting...
The reason I'm so upset? I believe, as 26% of my family does, that our beloved Aunt Bernadette was kidnapped by a UFO in 1965 and whisked away to a distant planet where she was bombarded with rays from medical devices undreamed of in our vast galaxy, only to be returned minutes later, (it seemed to us), missing her entire memory of fourth grade and parts of her wedding that revolved around the ugly Uncle Tucker punch bowl incident.
For the rest of her life Aunt Bernadette could not walk by a television or a radio without interfering with the reception, and Uncle Tucker would wrap her head with foil on Super Bowl Sunday.
The answer is out there, just not in this film about a picture, about a forgotten race with big heads and a crummy car...